The Homebirth Lisa Francis
On October 31, 2007 at 3:14 pm I gave birth to my second child in the guest bedroom of our home. Our health baby girl weighed 7 lbs. 6 oz. and was nursing within minutes with the umbilical cord still intact and the placenta still inside of me. Attending my homebirth were two midwives, two labor doulas, and my husband of course. It was a perfect and natural birth that occurred without the use of drugs or medical intervention.
It has taken me almost a year to get the courage to write this story down. I respect that everyone’s birth experiences are unique and sacred to them just like their resultant children are. To be fair, I have to precursor this account of my homebirth experience with the information that I had an uncomplicated first pregnancy that resulted in an uncomplicated first birth. My second pregnancy was similarly uncomplicated and I live within five minutes of Baptist East Hospital. I have no physical ailments or family history of complications during pregnancy or birth. I received weekly chiropractic care from Dr. Schuler for the two years preceding my second pregnancy and throughout the pregnancy itself. Homebirth may not be for everyone and you should discuss your ability to pursue it with a midwife you feel comfortable with. For information on midwives and doulas please visit BirthCareNetwork.com for more information. To prepare for this homebirth I read two books which I highly recommend: Birthing From Within by Pam England and Journey Into Motherhood: Inspirational Stories of Natural Birth by Sheri L. Menelli.
On the night before I gave birth I started having contractions at 9 pm. I sent my 3 year old daughter to her grandparents’ house for the night and I labored alone in my living room while my husband slept. The concept of time floated away from me as I worked with my body to prepare for the birth. In my mind I had to repeat to myself over and over again that each contraction was bringing me closer and closer to seeing my baby. I won’t say that this time was painful but it was uncomfortable. I moaned with each contraction and the vibration in my throat gave me something else to focus on. This was my second birth and I knew that this discomfort was temporary and that when it was over I would be holding my precious, sweet baby in my arms.
When dawn broke, I woke my husband and phoned my labor doula, Susan Linville. A labor doula is a personal assistant for a birthing mother. I chose to have a labor doula so that my husband could have help and guidance in trying to anticipate and manage my needs. Susan arrived and 8 am and helped me into the shower to let the water massage my lower back and to give gravity a chance to help my cervix dilate. My husband filled up the birthing pool with warm water and what a joy and relief it was to let the water envelop and support my body so that all of my energy could be directed towards birthing.
My midwife, Jennifer, arrived at 11 am with the rest of the birthing team arriving shortly after that. I continued to labor in the birthing pool, moving and switching positions often. When my contractions slowed I was fed peanut butter on celery with raisins and given juice to drink. My exhausted body reacted immediately to this addition of energy and my contractions immediately resumed. At 1 pm, to my surprise, my body began to push involuntarily and the women gathered around me for support! Having had an epidural with my first birth I did not experience this involuntary pushing and had to push the baby out consciously at the exact intervals directed by the doctor.
I only remember two things during this last stage of birthing. I remember seeing my birth doula, Susan, facing me and my breath was moving her hair. She was looking at me calmly and she so kindly said “You are doing so well, Lisa. Your body is doing exactly what it was designed to do!” That idea was so refreshing to me… it encouraged me and dispelled any fears that the discomfort I was feeling was a sign of trouble.
The other memory during this time is of hearing my two dogs barking their heads off in the backyard. As the proud owners of two beagles this barking was a common irritant and my husband announced that he would go out to quiet them. I told him to let them bark. I liked hearing them because it reminded me that there was an experience happening outside of this room. I had regained the perspective that this pain and this birth was not the only thing going on in the world and that it was all temporary! The barking…the birth…it was all temporary. My body was birthing a baby and this discomfort was something that I could handle with the support of all of these people. This pain was going to be a small and temporary part of my experience of becoming a mother for the second time.
The feeling of giving birth to become a mother was what I was looking for this time and what I felt like I might have missed having given birth to my first child in a hospital setting. I was a patient while I was in that hospital and my birth experience was a type of painful sickness that occurred on a known timeline (known to the hospital staff of course and not me) and needed medical monitoring every 45 minutes by a nurse wearing latex gloves.
Having labored in the hospital for 10 hours without being allowed to move (my water had broken early on) I was frequently asked by the nurses to rate my pain. I began to fear the pain as if it were a sign that something was wrong. I opted for the epidural out of fear of the pain and the drug successfully ended my awareness of my body from the waist down. This disconnection from my body transferred somehow into a disconnection from my baby. I felt like this birth and this becoming-a-mother was happening to someone else. The trials of parenting a newborn quickly bonded me to my baby and within 6 weeks I felt like a mother although I struggled with depression for the first year and half of motherhood.
This homebirth experience was good for me and I chose it because it eliminated the need for me to become a passive hospital patient which was so in contrast with the strong birthing mother that my body and my baby needed and wanted me to be. My homebirth was also a healing experience in that gave me a new perspective on the trials of giving birth to and of parenting my first child; two experiences that had ultimately left me feeling weak, scared and unprepared. What wisdom I felt that I had lacked before I now feel that I possess after giving birth at home without drugs. I now know that I am a strong and capable person who can trust herself to be a strong and capable parent to two precious children. I know that I can trust my mind and my body and that I am qualified to ask for help from those professionals whom I deem qualified to help me. Like my chiropractor! When and if my daughters’ choose to take the journey into motherhood I will tell them about my two very different birthing experiences and I will encourage them to view birth not a sickness but as part of the hero’s journey. We parents are heroes, if you are doing it right it is the hardest thing you’ve ever done. The most rewarding too!